Promise Land

Have you ever been in a place of happiness in life that you start feeling guilty for being so happy and content?  Have you ever been at peace with your world that you start feeling afraid of everything crashing before you?  I’ve always had some type of struggle in life…these struggles leaves me feeling worried, depressed, anxious, worthless and disappointed at myself.  I have always felt like a disappointment to my family, my partner and myself.  Something inside of me always comparing my failures with the success of others. 

It took mercy, grace and favor from God and it took me fighting that voice inside of me that tells me that maybe I deserve these struggles.  That voice would tell me that it was my destiny to go through pain, hurt, disappointments, failures and regrets in life.  However, today I am in a different place, a place of satisfaction and peace.  Don’t get me wrong life isn’t all-perfect but guess what? IT’S BETTER!

I had to come to a realization that I didn’t give myself enough credit and kudos, I didn’t show appreciation to my inner strength; the will to never give up even when I was low.  So many times we look forward to others telling us how great we are or how much they appreciate us that we forget that our own perception of who we are is what matters.  I started focusing on all my positives in life.  The mere fact that I have been through so much but I am here today, I will be here tomorrow, I have hope and I have a chance to be who I want to be.  What are your struggles?  Miscarriages, addictions, breakups, divorce, disappointments, family, job, mental health, weight, insecurities …etc?  The truth is that life is not as easy as it sounds.  Each day is a battle physically and spiritually leading you to your promise land.  Don’t be hard on YOU!

And when you eventually get to that promise land and you find yourself feeling guilty for being happy in life you need to caution that feeling.  Embrace that happiness because it was not always so. 

 SL